Thank you

Sorry for today’s earlier outburst. It’s been a bad day, mood-wise. A nasty cold in combination with anxiety, and having the husband out of town. Still not doing great, but it’s a little bit better now. Thank you all who left me encouraging comments and hugs in that last post, you have no idea how much it means to hear such when stuck in a low point!

In an attempt to stifle the bad mood I went outside, cold and all, and picked some raspberries. There is something calming about picking berries, just… one at a time, one at a time, one at a time. I then whipped up a combined apple-raspberry jam using our own apples – we only have a few as the tree still is very young, so not talking a bit cooking project here, the whole thing took like 20 minutes. 30 maybe. Tasty result, but I was still a mess. A tired mess too, constantly sneezing and coughing (sshhh, don’t think about how hygienic it ISN’T to make jam while sick, I just had to do something!), so I laid down, and slept. For hours and hours, pretty much all afternoon.

 

When I finally woke up, I came to do something I’ve not done in months. I actually logged on to Guild Wars 2 to do a bit of roleplay. However huge rp has been in my life the past few years, at the moment all of that is gone. I just don’t dare get involved, for fear of disappointing people, and so I’ve stayed away. Until tonight, when I gave it a little try at least.

 

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It was good, it really was. Simple, nothing special, no pressure, just casual RP. I think that might have been exactly what I needed today, to finally calm down.

 

There is no real point to this blog post, and I apologize for the lack of worthwhile content. But, that’s how it is today. Tomorrow is another day, I will try to be better then.

Delete?

Getting the urge to delete this blog. Because it’s crappy. Because who cares what I think? Because a person who speaks up is likely to get metaphorically punched in the nose. Because it hurts when people misunderstand what I am trying to say. Because I am terrified of being mocked by trolls. Because I don’t fucking matter and my words will be remembered by no one. Because right now, all I want to do is cry.

 

I could really use a hug right now.

Advertising vs honestly recommending stuff

A couple of weeks ago I received an email from a company willing to pay me a bit to advertise their online services here on this blog. That had never happened before, so I was a bit stunned! And flattered, of course! Tempted to say yes, sure! Money is nice, right? And again, it was very flattering.

Now, I haven’t accepted. And I probably won’t. Because in the end I figured… I have no frakking idea if they are worth endorsing or not. They are aimed particularly at people with mental health issues, and while they might be just lovely I don’t know that. How can I tell followers of mine to spend money on something that might be crap? Or worse, might potentially make those mental health issues worse?

So here I am, not advertising them. Instead, I’m going to share with you some of the items we have bought this summer (more specifically, in Visby during Medieval Week). Not because anyone is paying me to advertise for them, but because I personally found these things bloody awesome and the small scale crafters/musicians making them deserve the praise.

 

 

 

I am still looking for info on some of these and so will have to add more later, but here’s what I can say right away:

Idisi, awesome medieval fusion band from Moscow  – that’s the cd you see there.  We saw them perform at the market, and aaaah yes. So good. Would definitely have gone on to see their concert later that night if it wasn’t for the fact that we by then had left the island.

Historiska Fynd  – see the bronze pieces? The spear pendant, the Fenrir pendant, and the two little ‘thingies’ that will go onto a belt. Based on archaeological finds. Absolutely fabulous, I get pretty much all my bronze stuff from this guy.

Mariefred Pottery made those ridiculously pretty blue-brown jugs-and-little-flask. Oh and I gotta say, you can fit an entire bottle of wine in one of those jugs, they’re brilliant.

Medeltidsmode.se – The fabulous wool fabrics you see there are from these guys. I stood forever unable to decide between the blue and the green, so I ended up getting both.

Tallgårdens Krukmakeri – See the blue-ish mugs? Gorgeous. We’ve bought things from this place pretty much every year in Visby, it’s such a talented crafts(wo)man!

Gott från Idholmen – That jam you see there is just mouth wateringly good. I wish I bought more.

 

Still looking for the correct links to the rest of the stuff seen in the pictures, so I’ll have to get back to you on those.

 

But there you are! Stuff! Actual awesome stuff that I honestly can recommend!

 

Late Night Musings

Summer is ending, and once again the evenings grow dark. As I was walking home late last night, on a lamp-less country road, the light was so sparse that I could barely see the surface I was stepping on. I did see the stars though, brilliant stars a plenty high above, and so I couldn’t stop smiling. So, so beautiful She is.

There are many Gods who have my respect and devotion, but none that awes me as much as Her. Nótt, Night Herself.

Part of me wishes I could build Her a temple, to show my love and share it with the world. At the same time I know, there is no greater place of worship than outside, under the stars. Under Her is Her own temple, grander than any ever built by man.

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If only I could tell you all. All I see, all I feel, all I somehow just know. But words are insufficient, almost painfully so, in describing the mystery of Night. Perhaps if you seek Her, you will see as well?

 

Here We Have Stood, Here We Stand

It can’t be said enough.

Sarenth Odinsson's Blog

When people ask where the Heathens and Northern Tradition Pagans are denouncing racism, I will remind folks there’s plenty of us that have been here, for years, doing just that.

Let me be clear: The Valknut is not theirs. Mjölnir is not theirs. The Runes are not theirs. The Valknut is Odin’s. Mjölnir is Thor’s. The Runes are Their own, symbols of the very vaettir (spirits) of Creation who were in the Ginnungagap (Yawning Mouth, Primal Void) until Odin died, sacrifice of Himself to Himself, took Them up and brought Them forth. These are sacred. When white nationalists take up these symbols, use them to further their ideology, to further their brand of hate, they appropriate them and denigrate them.

Fuck the racists, the Nazis, and the white nationalists who take up symbols of the Gods, the Ancestors, the Runevaettir, the vaettir, and the ways within the Northern Tradition…

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Strange verses

When I was a child, I was told that my father wrote poetry. Strange poetry, my mother said, that no one can understand. He’s not very good, she said. It’s all just very strange.

I never really knew my father. I never read his poetry.

Yet here I am, writing strange verses. They aren’t very good, I am sure my mother would say. Because it is all very strange, and no one understands them.