I keep thinking that I should write a blog post about my beliefs. My faith, I suppose you could call it.
Do you know why I still haven’t, why I keep hesitating? It’s not due to some inner uncertainty, I know perfectly well where I stand in these matters. It’s not because it’s hard to explain either – for while it certainly is hard to explain I find the process of putting words to my thoughts an interesting one, it helps me sort things out.
No, I hesitate because I am afraid. It’s that simple. I am afraid of being judged by people I love and respect, afraid of having my faith tolerated and accepted but secretly looked down on. Most of the people around me are atheists. Some are Christian. A rare few are something else. I’m something else too.
When I consider publically acknowledging my beliefs a little warning bell goes off at the back of my mind. I know that a lot of atheists believe that people of faith – any faith really – can’t be objective scientists, and that their research is bound to be coloured by religious ideas. And how many of those that pride themselves in being tolerant and accepting of different cultures and religions are at the same time openly mocking those whose perception of the world falls outside of the norm? How many believe that a religious person, a person of faith, automatically must reject science and logic?
I hesitate because I don’t want to be judged as inferior. As unintelligent. As crazy. As misguided and at best a little quirky. Because I know, that even with the tolerant and accepting nature of most of my friends and acquaintances, the best and brightest tend to dismiss faith as a construct of an uneducated or misguided mind.
At least, when a person finds faith in a traditional religion, there is some degree of acceptance.Those who find faith outside of the traditional religons are mostly just… weird, no?
To be honest, I don’t even like to use the term faith here. It doesn’t quite suit me. Because I am not religious. Religion implies organized faith, a structured system of beliefs shared by a community. That’s not for me. But alright, I suppose we are stuck with the word ‘faith’. I have faith, not religion. I don’t adhere to any structured system of beliefs shared by a community. I don’t follow the teachings of any religious leader even if some may be inspirational.
If having to label myself I’d say that I’m a polytheist. That in itself doesn’t say much, I could add terms such as eclectic or animist there too but still it’s not by far close to describing my truth. Those close to me already know this, of course, it has been no secret even though I have never before dared announce it publically like this. But this is how it is and it’s time I dare speak it out loud without fear of ridicule.
I’ll be returning with more blog posts touching on this topic, there is so much I would like to say. But it’s no small topic to discuss and I’ll need take it on piece by piece. But there, I’ve said it, I’m a hard polytheist, not bound to any specific religion but drawing on ideas and theories from many.
Still here? Marvellous, thank you for reading!