Self sabotage

When we know what to do, how to behave and what to avoid, in order to be happy and healthy… why is it still so hard to do it? Why do we keep sabotaging our own happiness by doing what we know is bad for us?

Self sabotage is one of the biggest issues I have to work with, and I have a sneaking suspicion it always has been that way. Sometimes laziness stands in the way, sometimes pure anxiety, sometimes a lack of energy. Either way, it is a downwards spiral. Start making the wrong choices, and it is too easy to keep making those same bad choices over and over again.

For me, those choices range from simple and material to the great and complex. I know what I should do. I know what food I should eat, how I should exercise, I know which friends I should meet more often, what hobbies I should stick to, what bad habits I should avoid. I know what makes me happy – but still I somehow have trouble doing just that. It is self sabotage, nothing less. And it needs to stop.

The question is just… how?

 

 

 

5 thoughts on “Self sabotage

  1. I think one of the biggest issues here is the “should” statements. We ‘should’ be doing this, we ‘should’ be doing that, and the term has become a way to beat ourselves up. We need to stop using the term all together I think. Instead, we should be doing things we want to do, because our heart is in it. Take the example of religion. As a christian, I felt like I ‘should’ go to church because that is what was ‘best’ for me, even though I felt horrible about going. Now I do more religious worship and study as a pagan than I ever did as a christian, because I WANT to do it. It’s the same way with diet and exercise. We need to stop thinking we need to do something because we ‘should’, and find things that we want to do because they soothe our soul.
    Sorry if this sounds like a rant, it’s something I feel a little passionate about.

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    1. It’s true, we should be careful about all of these “shoulds”. Not quite the sort of things I was thinking about here though, not… normally, at least! I am thinking of things like… Well, I know that writing makes me happy. So why can it go weeks without me sitting down to write, even though I have the time? I know that taking a walk instantly gets my mood up and will in the long run also be good for me, so why do I stay on the couch? It’s… things I not just should do, but I -want- to do, and enjoy. But still… for some reason I don’t. Basically stopping myself from doing what I want to do, enjoy doing and would be better off doing. o.o Silly behaviour.

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      1. Could you be afraid of something that you think might come out in the writing I wonder? That was just another thought that popped into my head. The two biggest things I have seen humans be afraid of are failure and success. At least that’s what I have been told.

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      2. If it was mostly just writing, that would be a damn interesting possibility. Problem is… it’s not just that. It’s almost everything, all I love doing, enjoy doing, I still somehow avoid. Even though it’s stuff that makes me feel happy, and is genuinely good for me. Dancing, doing yoga, running, singing, painting, writing, sewing, meeting friends – yes I even avoid meeting friends! Even though I want to meet them! It’s an issue that grew far worse after I first succumbed to depression, but as I look back on my life I see the tendencies already before that. It is almost as if I’m afraid of doing what I want to do, and need to do? Like a big block internally, hindering me from being who I want to be. =/ And there… I suppose your suggestion is spot on, even if it’s not just about writing. Might be about some underlying fear, potentially. I’m not sure. D:

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