Here I am again. Trying to put to words what I see, what I’ve come to understand. I don’t recall ever having such trouble writing down thoughts and ideas, usually the words flow like water from my mind and fingertips, but not now. Not in this matter.
Never in my polytheistic practice have I felt an urge to name one God or Goddess as my main patron. Often I’ve wondered about it, seeing how so many others feel the call to focus their service on one among the many, and for sure there are those I feel closer to than others. I had just about settled in the notion that I wasn’t supposed to be dedicated to one. That I was to stand open to all, with a broad span rather than a narrow one.
Things are changing now. I feel the pull of one among the many. Still my devotion is broad, I have great respect and love for many, but this feels different. It is different. It is deep within myself, and far beyond. It contradicts what I thought I knew yet I knew it all along. It is bridging a gap between myself and me. It is not what I expected.
I apologize for the cryptic words. I can’t seem to put it any clearer in writing. I’m not supposed to, I think.
Yes, I believe I have found the one I am meant to serve. She is Night, and I am Hers.