I have spoken before about my wish to stay out of organized religious or spiritual groups. Or, mentioned it at least, as I talked to you about my faith. More often in private discussions I have pressed on the difference between faith and religion – the former word representing the actual inner state of belief or understanding, while the latter rather refers to an organisation. I have faith, I say. It’s a major part of my understanding of the world and of our own existence, it’s not just a theoretical concept but a part of my reality. Religion however, I am not equally interested in.
Spiritually speaking I am a wanderer of the wilds. No, I don’t just say that because it sounds cool, but because it’s the most accurate description I can think of. Existence I see much as one great forest. There are many paths running through it, some wide and some narrow, some newly created and others barely remain, partially overgrown by the ever changing vegetation. And me? I am one of those who walk inbetween. Following no path yet crossing many, finding my own way forward. Sometimes it will lead me astray but that’s alright, it’s all a part of the journey.
Sometimes though, it feels lonely. Yes, there are others like me and many I can relate to, but few are anywhere near my home town. And sometimes even a wanderer wishes she had company, even if only for a brief stop at a campsite frequented by those who travel down other paths. Yes, I wish I had a small group of people to meet with, not just online but in real life, both for the social aspect and for a more practical one, as at times I wish to engage in rituals that need more than just a single mind, or a single set of hands.
But how to balance the wish to stay alone with the wish for company?
I don’t know yet.