Pain Within

The new year has begun and it is painful.

My chest hurts.

No matter how deep I breathe it still doesn’t feel as though I am getting enough air.

My eyes have trouble focusing.

My appetite is gone.

My balance is off and I feel faint.

My head is empty and at the same time whirling with panic stricken words.

I cry, and cry, and cry.

 

 

I understand those who end up cutting themselves. Physical pain would come as a relief in comparison. The only reason why I am not hurting myself as a form of distraction is that I know, on an intellectual level, that it’s not the answer. But the urge is there, the wish to escape the swamp of emotional hell by any means possible.

 

Yes, I am having bad days.

 

But yes, it’ll get better.

8 thoughts on “Pain Within

    1. Thank you! And yes, well not recently but I have for years been getting medical help, yeah. I am thankfully doing pretty good overall, but still I have days and weeks when it’ll flare up and get worse again, usually because something happens to trigger a negative emotional reaction. It should get better again, eventually.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Don’t worry it will be better. I can understand but my triggers are of a different nature.
        Until then take this time to do everything that makes you happy : read if you like, a hobby, movies, sleep, cooking, talk to friends, gardening, blogging.
        Love – jia😀

        Liked by 1 person

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