Blackbird II

I don’t understand. Why? Why put me through this pain?

 

You know why.

 

Yes. No. No.

 

Why not?

 

It is all… Pointless attempts to find purpose in pain. To find meaning in suffering. A desperate search to understand why.

 

That is not an answer.

 

Stop that! I am the one asking questions here! I am the one in pain!

 

You asked to understand. I am helping you understand. 

 

No. No, I don’t believe it.

 

It doesn’t matter.

 

See, now I’m crying again. It pains me so, it tears me apart, it is crushing what little hope I had. What am I but wasted potential? Nothing, I am nothing. I am worthless. Wasted potential. Did I even ever have potential? No, that is probably foolish of me to believe. I am simply waste.

 

 

Half an hour ago I was writing that above. Writing, crying, hurting, until a noise distracted me. From the chimney, a frantic scraping.

“Darling… Sounds like there’s something in the chimney.”

Husband: “Huh? No, that’s not possible. There’s a grid in the way to keep birds from falling in.”

“Uhm… No, there is definitely something in there.”

Husband set his ear against the chimney and listened for a second. “… yes.”

“I bet it’s the blackbird.”

 

 

 

Of course it was a blackbird. Not the female that has been constantly pushing for attention the last week, but a smaller male. Stuck deep down in the chimney until I managed to open the insides of the fireplace and could reach in to grab it.

 

Terrified of course, the poor thing. But it seemed entirely unharmed. We snapped a picture and then let it fly.

 

blackbird

 

 

Enough with the crying. Back to work.

3 thoughts on “Blackbird II

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s