Emails for breakfast, lunch, and dinner

Ages and ages ago I posted this little post here, about what I called the ’email technique’.  And here I am again, amazed by how this humble method works in my favour and wanting to share it with the world.

I write stories, I always have. But unfortunately I also suffer from absolutely crippling self doubt and most often the stories are never finished, because before the end I have convinced myself that it is so poorly written, so terrible in every way, that I’d be a fool to continue.

Others I will tell, don’t worry about the quality! Just write, if you love writing then carry on anyway. A first draft is always crappy anyway, that’s why you have the second draft and the third. So don’t worry, just write.

I can tell others but I can’t seem to tell myself. But even so I keep coming back to the computer, writing and writing and writing again. It’s been going on since I learned to write and it will probably go on until I am no more. It would however be fantastic if I actually managed to finish my stories. The dream is of course to be published but for now I’ll settle with that more humble goal – to finish a story.

So, what about the email technique?

In essence it is my way of making myself carry on, and not get caught reading and re-reading what’s already written. Yes eventually I need to edit and rewrite, but not now. Now I just need to carry on, and so this is perfect.

I write to myself. Short passages, sometimes just a sentence or two, and click send. Once it is sent (to myself still) I can leave it at that, move on with what comes next. Yes it is painstakingly slow but… is it? I’ve written far more this way, though each segment sent is tiny the process prompts me to continue, and so I end up with more than I would have if I had set out to write a page or two in one go.

Of course I cut and paste it all into a proper document as well, but not every day and I try not to actually look at it too much, it’s just a precaution to keep the entirety safe.

And with that it’s time I get on with today’s work. There is much to do so I better get on with it. But before I start I will send myself an email. Just a few sentences to keep the ball rolling.

It had never been their intention to see her permanently damaged, the teeth had been an unfortunate accident. Ellie sucked on her own and imagined them missing. The thought made her cringe. Poor girl. 

 

 

Beauty, power, grace

“Come,” the old woman said. “I’m going to show you something. Show you someone.”

I was not afraid. Not even when the colours of the world faded and everything seemed to shrink. No, I realized. It wasn’t the world shrinking, it was me. Slowly falling back, collapsing with my back against the wall and my hands still firmly clasped by the old woman.

We were dead.

“Now we can go and see her.”

Her. I never was told her name. The priestess of Death. Priestess? No, when I laid eyes on her I knew she was more than that. She was the Goddess herself. Hair as black as charcoal reached just below her shoulders. Sunkissed skin was soft and healthy. The grace and seduction of a dancer oozed from her every motion. The authority of a Queen shone from her eyes. Clad in gold and clad in blue, the most royal of colours.

She was beautiful. Painfully beautiful. 

Our spirits like forgettable mice scuttled around the corners of the building. Not to be noticed, not to be seen, just to witness. It was a dangerous game, getting this close. But I was not afraid, only fascinated by the beauty, power, and grace which was hers.

Poetic Ventures into the Weird

I find myself writing odd poetry. Heathen poetry with a sprinkle of spell work, in a style I have not touched before. It feels right. It feels like I don’t care if people understand it or not, weird or not it is just as it should be.

 

Huh.

 

It’s an interesting feeling. When being able to let go of what is normal and ‘correct’, and instead finally coming to express raw meaning.

 

Yes, I like this.

 

 

A Project for the New Year

 

I am considering a creative project. A creative, practical, and spiritual project.

 

I’d like to make a calendar.

 

Put to words and images how the seasons pass, with the days I observe as sacred and my own notes on each.

 

I’d like to have artwork in it as well, but I am no artist. Perhaps, if it goes well, I can end up commissioning pieces for it. We will see.

 

As always my instinct is to rush in and do it, do it NOW! But this I feel is not a project to be rushed through. It should take a full year to complete as each section should be written at the time it concerns.

 

We are right at the end of January. Too bad I did not think of this a few weeks ago, as I will hardly have the first part finished before February begins. But, it is what it is.